I think Milo is weaned. He is 21 months old. It's been three days since he's nursed. A few weeks ago we were able to get through weaning his night nursing. It took a bit of effort and some sleepless moments when he would throw a temper tantrum at 3am, but we finally got to the point that if he would wake up he would just roll over and go back to sleep, or cuddle up to one of us. This article by Dr. Jay Gordon, about night weaning and changing sleep patterns in the family bed, was so incredibly helpful.
With the night nursing done, that just left weaning him from nursing to sleep for a nap and before going to bed. Naps were easy if we were out of the house, he would just fall asleep in the car, but if we were at home it has been more difficult since it is still light out and he has access to me. The last three days we've been out, so I have to see how it goes when we stay at home during his nap.
At night, we still have a long way to go before I can just shut off the light and leave the room, but at least he's not nursing and he's using his stuffed animals more and figuring out how to get himself comfortable. I'll lay with him until he falls asleep, the first night he cried hard and for about 45 minutes, the second night he cried for 20 minutes and tonight he fussed a bit but didn't really cry. It's taking him 40 - 60 minutes to fall asleep and I hope that will get shorter over the next couple of weeks. Weaning him is more than just breaking the nursing to sleep habit, it's also about breaking his dependence on me to fall asleep. In the middle of night he's doing much better and getting himself to sleep without me needing to touch him or talk to him, so I hope we will get to that point for bedtime as well.
It's slowly but surely and even though we've had to deal with some crying I think it has helped that we have always been right there for him and have maintained the co-sleeping. Once we are well past the nursing stage we will start to tackle the co-sleeping, or maybe just wait for him to want to sleep on his own. We enjoying having him in bed with us and there is nothing better than waking up to a cheerful Milo prying your eyelid open, saying "Hi!", and giving you a big kiss and hug.